I'm putting this here to remind me no matter how busy I am, I will not be lulled into the convenience of Macdonald's delivery.


Okay, my will is set.


This is horrible. The world outside AEP seems so dreadfully dull now. I can't seem to be interested in anything outside the studios.

I like the work I do there - demanding, intimate, not always fun or liked, but loved.

I like the people in there. They are likeminded classmates who similarly know their lives would be absolutely miserable without Art, even as they are miserable now; A couple of seniors slept over to keep us company at the frontline. The nights turn them into one of us. The teachers treat us as more than just a job (or at least, they make us feel like they love their jobs). The people there are odd, funny, sensitive and sexy. We don't need clubs and clark quay, mindless sex games and meaningless social activities. I can prance around barefoot in my rattiest freebie once-upon-a-time tshirt and know that when people look at me, they see someone to love. I don't need heels and makeup and funny clothing to feel hot. I love watching them as they sing at the top of their voices into the night, in perfect harmony even as they make up the notes as they go along. I love watching them. I love popping around, helping one or the other make her baby pretty. I love the small talks, and the knowing that the other person will never be impatient with your ideas, because she has them too. I love how we can practically be one, but never symbiotic or clingy. I love how anything I dream of can come true - and how msky and mrly will find a way to help me make it happen. I love how they mentor me with friendship, and watch over me with companionship. They remain one of the few people who catch and understand every twitch of my eyebrow, even as I try to hide and deny it. I love how the girls love each other too much, and the boys don't love the girls at all. Yet they always make time to put a smile on our faces. I love the big group and small group talks. And the crazy names we give each other. And how we've promised to make everyone's wedding a reunion, while pretending to eat each other up.

And though I can hardly find time to breathe or sleep, I feel free I feel like I'm expanding and the world can accomodate me I feel happy I feel free