I will attend to the trees and their gracious silence that to winds move

since I was not bewitched in adolescence and brought to love


I cannot believe it has been a whole month since I last posted. In other words, I have been single for nearly a month now. (To the person who tagged "I smell love in the air", damn you) This journey of incomprehensible grief has been tiring: obsessing over the past sickens me now, and all imagined futures refuse to shed their feathers. I am once again suspended in some kind of brutal limbo that the coward in me wishes I could sleep away. Perhaps, it is as Jervis has said, in spite of everything, I've truly fallen in love with you, sunshine, but you have grown cold. I've packed my bags for a while now, and I leave with too many words unspoken: but perhaps, sleeping dogs should be left to lie. Do I wish I could have done it over, done it better, not done it at all? I won't pretend: Yes, I do. But I cant unfry an egg, so I must take the lessons that come with it and emerge.


I am slowly crawling back into life and all its wonders - how can one not?

Sorrow is so consuming I've forgotten that 2008 has gained me a wealth of experience, love and beyond. Life has found me, now I have to suck the marrow out of it.