Everything but the Art

a)Since Mr M Lim started getting really picky about the organization of my essays, I've developed this irritatingly sticky habit of numbering my points (as in "First, Second, Third...") in my blogs, which so many people (including Pierre Goh! *swoon*) do that I feel un-special doing it. But since the Stream of Consciousness more often than not backfires on me, I think I will begin organizing my posts alphabetically instead. Which technically still allows me to go about without breaking my self-imposed 'no-numbers-abbreviations-acroynms' rule.

b) I was at my art tutor's office this morning, with my giant head propped against the low cabinet in front of his desk, kicking it gently with my sneakers as usual. He always makes it a point to invite me across into his little cubicle-desk every now and then. All interactions should be set in such a way - so you know when exactly to close up the distance, and when to stay out. But anyhow, the atmosphere seemed so cheery I couldn't help but blurt, "I hear you have a really pretty girlfriend! Do you have a photo?"

"We just broke up."

He gave a small, sort of lopsided smile.

Well.

He must have been heartbroken for a bit. I wanted to kick myself, or disappear, or something, but I felt like I had to say something (which is always a mistake). So I said "Bigger fish out there."

Yeah. Kick me. Hard.

c) He showed me a photo of her anyway.

Another thing about Mr. Why does he find it so easy to tell me about his personal life? It's fascinating, and warm and friendly. But why?

d) Remember when that motherly Primary School teacher used to enfold you in the warm ruffles of her post-natal fat and tell you that you were a unique snowflake? (Thanks Colin, for reminding me. And depressing me too.) Well, some time in your life, you realize that you're really nothing but a sad, dirty water droplet. This is some time in my life.

A talent for writing and art! That's what they told me, but I feel like all I've been set up to is a really big and painful fall. I'm nowhere near good. And certainly not talented. And I have nowhere else to go.


Sad face.