Illyria

My body has slid into some mode of waiting: my senses are quiet, my brain is conserving itself. Only, it can't be waiting, because there is nothing to wait for.

The last week spent in Phuket with Olivia, KC, Seng and Yunsong was idyllic. It was everything I wanted and more for a coming-of-age trip; a nice balance between the serene and the exhilerating. The only down side was probably that Yunsong and KC took such good care of us, our brains rotted and our independence died during this trip. Looking at them, I know exactly why I have failed my parents, who never wanted anything more than their child to be able to take care of herself and those around her. But now, back home from Illyria, I am invincible again.

Back home from Illyria, I've also realised that Time can't be beaten. No amount of strength can stop the passing of days. I was standing in my shower, washing out my hair, when I found that I could stop my hands from moving, but the suds would not stop sliding down the brown curls. I could hold my breath and keep very still, but when I, inevitably, got out of the shower, it would be well into the afternoon, and going yet further in.

And yet I am here, waiting for something I cannot see, while Time slips by.