A letter to California

Dear Daniel,

Did you know that conscription is compulsory for all boys here in Singapore? At the age of 18 or 19, all the men are put into the army and made to serve 2 years of National Service. This means that all my male classmates are in the army now. I miss some of them a lot, but it is difficult to contact them when their camp is located on an offshore, undeveloped, jungly island. Have you ever thought of serving in the army?

A friend of mine shared with me the last time we met (how long ago!), that when he was taught to fire live rounds from his gun, he felt afraid. The thought of it is scary - you're 18 and they're training you to kill. Sometimes it makes me wonder why the concept of patriotism has to be so cold and distant. In Singapore, especially among my classmates, the Ivy League/ Oxbridge/ President scholar potentials (no shit), National Service feels synonymous to 2 years of stagnation and degeneration. One of my classmates had to have his Oxford offer revoked, because the university would not hear of a 2-year deferment. It is a huge point of unhappiness among the 'educational elite' here.

Even though I'm a girl and I don't have to be disruptively relocated into the depths of a jungle, national service gets me a down too sometimes. With our straddled university entries, on top of how we might not get into the same universities, or even study in the same countries, this parting could mean we might not see each other again for the next 5 years, at the very least. Then there's the nagging reminder that things might not be the same again after 5 eventful years, and threadbare contact. When I think of my few good friends in there who lived the past 2 years with me, and how their own lives must be even more unrecognizable now, my heart starts to break a little.

I guess I should've said my goodbyes a little better. All too sudden, loneliness seems a bit more real.

Best wishes,
Charmaine