Dear Life,

Despite your demons of smirking TYSes and impending academic doom, there are so many things I want to thank you for. You've given me such a generous slice of little pleasures that there isn't a day I spend without feeling all warm and fuzzy inside.

First of all, thank you for preserving my family, and keeping them under your wing. I know that sometimes you let people go in the best interests, but I can't help feeling selfish in wanting to keep them. I have been living in the fear of losing them, but now, I think I will live in the pleasure of sharing one more day with them.

Second, thank you for the friends you have given me. Over the past year (these few weeks more than anything else), I have witnessed the strength of the friendships you have blessed me with. And they're more than just good friends - they're good people too. On my part, I promise to pay it forward; you leave me with no room to think otherwise. Sometimes, I am afraid of losing them in the uncertain future; afraid of no longer being able to casually walk into their daydreams and plonk beside them, afraid of losing those days of languish in the sun, afraid of losing the pleasant chumminess of walking around side by side. Can I keep them forever?

Third, thank you for revealing possibilities.

I know I haven't been very good - I've failed spectacularly in keeping my tongue in check lately, and I haven't exactly channelled virtues. And I worry in retrospect all the time, that one day, I'm going to drive people who cares away. You must not believe in proportionality, because you've given me far more than I deserve.

I'm also writing this because the naive immortality of youth is starting to wear down. Our parting, I am finally convinced, can be very real indeed. It still feels a bit strange - my first thought was "But I haven't lived yet!", but then it made me realize only how much time I was wasting. I trust you'll be with me for some time yet, I'm only 18 after all, but that's still no reason to continue taking what we have for granted.

So thank you, for loving this flawed, flawed me. Thank you.


Love,
charm